Womanizer by Britney Spears

I was recently talking to my driver about my semi-serious intention to pursue a side career as a stand up comic. Yes, I have a driver, but before you start thinking I am so very fancy, he is not my personal driver. My company has an agreement with a car service that we can use instead of Uber when we are in Dallas.  The car service only has Teslas, they plant a tree every time you book a ride, and why yes, maybe I am that fancy.  Use eCarra.  They are awesome.  Anyway, back to my career in comedy.  Are you laughing yet? 

My driver asked what my punchline is and I said that I do not have one yet, but my future agent also said I need one.  I started to fret because just like my former blog, not this blog, I worried that I didn’t have a theme, a hook, a voice, whatever you want to call it, I worried that I didn’t have one.  He said I should tell dating stories.  He also said I’m cute enough to pull it off, which I am not sure is completely relevant, but I will take the compliment.  I proceeded to tell him a dating story.  

I once went on a date with a recovering Latter Day Saint.  He asked what on earth that meant and I explained that the guy was from Utah, but no longer part of the church. After our first date, I invited him to take me to a birthday party in Sonoma.  He had a convertible and I thought he would be fun for the day and he generally was.  We had good conversation on the drive up and he was confident enough at a party full of people he had never met.  I like this because it leaves me free to be the social butterfly I am.  On our way back, stopped at a red light in American Canyon, I leaned over to kiss him in the car.  He recoils, horrified, and says that people will see.  I was mystified and asked if he meant the person in the car behind us?  I then turned and waved at the person behind us who waved back.  My date then accused me of being an exhibitionist, noting that I kissed him in front of the car after the party.  Outside the car, where people would see.  THE HORROR.  Apparently this one was still very much a recovering Latter Day Saint and for me, that was a deal breaker.  There are plenty of things I could and would do in public that would shock the hell out of him, but kissing shouldn’t be one of them. 

I’m so distracted by the weirdness that I almost forgot to explain the relevance of the song.  He put some music on in the car.  Not just any music, he played Britney Spears.  You know what, scratch that, we are still in the weird zone here and I am still completely on topic.  The song we were singing along to was Womanizer.  Let’s just think about that for a moment!  The guy afraid to kiss me…. In the car….chose to play and sing along to Womanizer.  Boy don’t try to front, I know just who you are.