Hangin' Tough by the New Kids on the Block

I have seen the New Kids on the Block in concert 4 times.  I saw them back in 1990 and 3 more times when they came back as grown men (on the block). My sister has of course seen them with me each and every time.  My curly girl Karen has seen them with me twice. Before you ask, yes, they are absolutely the kind of band you need to see more than once.  You may be wondering what makes a New Kids concert so much fun?   I'll tell you! 

Camera phones weren't as sophisticated in 2008

Back in 1990 I was quite literally obsessed.  My room was covered in New Kids posters.  I listened to their albums on repeat.  When I finally saw them in concert, I started crying when they came onstage and didn't stop crying throughout the show.  I was on emotional overload. In fact, when we got to our seats in 2008, my sister turned to me and asked if I was going to start crying again.  I said maybe.  I didn't cry, but I did stand up and jump around and wave my arms back and forth.  It turns out that watching the New Kids in your 30s is a lot like watching the New Kids when you are a tween.  It's all the same people from 1990 doing all the same dance moves and screaming at approximately the same level of ear piercing decibels.  We were even wearing the same clothes.  I had dug out the tshirts I had saved from the 1990 summer tour and the three of us proudly wore them.  After the concert, we spent the night in Karen's guest room in her apartment.  When we woke up, my sister was horrified to find out she had spent the night in a room with Karen's snake.  I could've warned her, but she had teased me about all of the crying.  All's fair in love and sisters, right?

Last year the New Kids went on the Mix Tape tour with a group of artists from the 90s.  The three of us naturally couldn't resist all of the nostalgia.  The show didn't disappoint.  It was like listening to a mix tape.  There were no sets - there were multiple stages and the artists would mix in, even overlapping and mashing things up.  It was as much fun as you would imagine, especially our nostalgic outfits and of course, closing out the show by enthusiastically waving our arm back and forth, blissfully Hangin' Tough with my sister and my curly girl Karen.  

The Humpty Dance by Digital Underground

"Alright stop what you're doing", I say to my children for not the first time today.  And just like that I am transported back to 7th grade, biting my tongue so I don't continue singing the wholly inappropriate lyrics.  Mind you, the lyrics were no less inappropriate for my 12-year old self.  It's a song about a guy with a big nose who has a lot of sex...in a lot of places....in a lot of positions.  My favorite lyric was about him having sex in a Burger King bathroom.  I'm thankful to say I honestly didn't understand most of the innuendo back then. I grew up naive and am forever grateful that I did.  What I did know was that the song was naughty.

What was even more shocking to me was watching my friend dance to it in my living room.  I remember standing there, mouth likely agape, watching my friend move around in a decidedly sexual and far too mature for us kind of way.  I honestly felt a little uncomfortable watching her because it just felt inappropriate.  I don't know where she learned it - her family didn't have a TV and this was well before the internet.  Perhaps she was already hanging around with older kids.   I don't think it was the actual Humpty Dance, which I can say now with authority because I just googled it.  I also googled "what came before twerking".  I am going to describe what she was doing for you as a combination of freaking and grinding.  To this day these are not dance moves I am capable of pulling off with any hint of seriousness.

Right around the time that song was very popular, I remember being in San Francisco on Pier 39 with my family or maybe on a school field trip.  My dad brags to me that he just saw the Humpty Hump guy.  He said you can't miss the nose.  It would've been a better sell if my dad had said he saw the guy coming out of a Burger King bathroom. Talk about a missed opportunity.  And also, it turns out the big nose was fake - he wore Groucho glasses as part of his alter ego.  Thinking back on all of this, I think it's probably highly unlikely that the Humpty Hump guy would've been wandering around Pier 39, of all places, dressed as his alter ego.  At the time though I chose to believe my dad was just that cool and a keen observer.  In fact, my dad was probably hoping I would go up to him and ask if it was really him. That's my dad's sense of humor in a nutshell. 

Rockin' Robin by Bobby Day

Robin was my very first friend in Turlock and became my best friend, off and on for the next several years.  You know how girls can be - the best friend contender can change from one day to the next!  We met in 4th grade when I moved to Turlock and we were thankfully in the same 5th grade class.We continued to spend lunch and recess together into junior high and high school.

Robin and I always had a lot of fun together. I would go over to her house after school or on the weekends.  They had a great hot tub and pool and we would spend hours in the sun. We traded our Teen Beat posters and carefully discussed at length the placement of every Kirk Cameron and MacKenzie Astin on our bedroom doors. We giggled at her brother who liked to talk to his best friend on the phone... while going to the bathroom.... so his friend would hear the flush. Boys. OK, fine, boys were the theme of many (many) conversations over the years!

We were also in 4-H together for many years, including serving together on the Board and being part of the same groups.  There were memorable trips to Clovis Lakes to enjoy the waterslides and a fun trip to the State Capital for the annual 4-H Leadership Conference.  So many of my memories from Turlock include Robin. I still remember her nickname from the 6th grade:  Robin Lizzette Pizza Pears.  I know "Pears" is a plan on her last name, but I cannot recall why Pizza.  Maybe she loved it?  I also seem to remember singing Rockin Robin while we all danced around her.... in the girls bathroom at school.  I seem to remember us hanging out in the bathroom during recess quite a bit.  I hope that was a thing.  If it wasn't, I don't really care because I was hanging out in the bathroom during recess with my rockin' friend Robin!  Tweet tweet tweet!

U Can't Touch This by MC Hammer

Once Science became its own class, it stopped being of interest to me.  I didn't like it in 6th grade.  I actually titled my science project "My Science Project".  That is how over the whole thing I was.  I didn't care for it in Junior High.  In High School, Biology and Chemistry were the 2 classes I could never pull off an A and our Chemistry tests were all open book!  I just didn't get it.  My brain doesn't work that way, I guess.  I am not into tons of research and experimentation, especially when experiments and hypotheses and whatnot do not work the first time out of the gate.  It is not my thing.  At all.

Luckily, I got to sit next to my friend Justine P. in 7th grade science class with Mr. Moon.  Mr. Moon was very nice and he was a good teacher and I did try my best, but it was still the beginning of the end of science for me.  We had to dissect a frog, first of all.  It wasn't 100% horrible.  We didn't have to put the frogs to sleep with a chloroform soaked cotton ball, like in E.T.  They arrived dead and we got to then dissect them.  I remember the smell being unbearable (although that may have been the fetal pig smell I am remembering from Biology.  So.  Gross.).  And it was a frog, after all.  I didn't have an sentimental attachments to frogs and they are pretty small.  Once you cut into them, it wasn't so bad and there were some interesting things inside.  Honestly, tt was the colors that I found so great.  There was one innard (maybe the intestines?) that was neon yellow.  I liked it so much that decorated a cake and called it Frog Dissection cake.  I was really into cake decorating that year and I died the frosting neon green and decorated with squiggly neon yellow lines and some other stuff.

Of course, the more important take away from that class was that Justine and I figured out the precise lyrics to U Can't Touch This.  We had a very serious discussion about this very important topic during class or some experiment and determined that it is:  It's Hammer, Go Hammer, MC Hammer, Yo Hammer (and the rest can go and play.  Can't touch this!).  Yes, an entire year of science and THAT is the ONE thing I took away from the class. 

Oh Darling! by the Beatles (and the entire Abbey Road album)

Somehow in the middle of the 8th grade, I became really popular (in the band).  I developed a couple really great friendships with a few of the 7th grade girls, notably Erica T. and Missy G.  Since my sister and I had been living with our dad since I was in 3rd grade, we didn't have a lot of sleepovers or after school friends coming over.  My dad would only host a sleepover if there was a female babysitter present, which was smart thinking on his part.  It didn't mean I felt any less left out of things.  8th grade changed everything and I was suddenly invited to lots of sleepovers and going over to Erica or Missy's houses after school.

Missy had recently "discovered" the Beatles and was listening to them obsessively.  Oh Darling! was her favorite and I had to agree that it was an amazing song.  I love all the emotion and rasp in Paul McCartney's voice.  I told my dad about them and he showed me that he actually had several of the records from his college days.  I had one of those all-in-one cassette/record player combos so I promptly absconded into my room with the records where I listened to them obsessively.  Abbey Road was my favorite.  I liked Side A better than Side B, even though I thought (I Want You) She's So Heavy was really strange and I just didn't get the abrupt, noisy ending.  Then moving on to Side B, the first 2 tracks are great, but then it moves again into some strange songs that didn't resonate with me at all.  What on earth is does Polythene Pam mean??  Something is still my all time favorite Beatles song.  I have a piano version and I have spent a lot of time trying to get it just right.  It's musically complicated, beautiful lyrics, just lovely and brilliant.

I recently watched a retrospective commemorating the 50th anniversary of the Ed Sullivan performance.  The Beatles themselves have never evoked the kind of emotions in me that they did for teenage girls of the 60s.  Let's face it, they were old and the hairstyles and clothing on the Abbey Road album were hideous to me.  They couldn't come close to the awesome acid washed denim and ducktailed dos of the fainting-inducing New Kids.  However I do think it's funny that listening to them today reminds me of passing notes, slumber parties, Ouija Boards, boys-boys-boys, and everything else that goes along with being 13.  The Beatles truly resonate across the generations. 

Romeo by Dino

It was a Friday night in October and a bunch of excited tweens (although that word didn't exist in 1990.  We were just 8th graders).  It was Emily H's birthday party!  It was going to be quite the evening.  The party started out in the garage, continued in the neighborhood with a scavenger hunt, and concluded at the high school football game.  I was so excited because my crush had been invited and he RSVP'd YES!  I think just about everyone's crush was coming, including Mikhaela D's and Katie S's. 

A few days before the party, we were at Emily's house planning everything (we might have been filming a movie for English class.  I definitely remember doing that, but I don't remember if that coincided with today's song).  Katie S. was also very excited about the party and she had come over to help as she lived right down the street.  She was putting together the music selection and the first song was Romeo by Dino.  Trust me, you want to click on the link and watch the video.  It is so quintessentially 1990...and so horrible, but in 1990 I am sure we thought the dancing was amazing and the high waisted shorts just the epitome of fashion.  It starts out with a little rap and then the music kicks in.  Katie was super excited about this song and she was really into it.  I loved that because Katie was normally very quiet and laid back and to see her really get into something made me smile.  I hadn't heard this Dino song and I agreed, it was so cool, I was sold, this music selection was going to make the party extra awesome. 

I am sure I put on my best t-shirt with the sleeves rolled up and made sure my bangs were as flat as a curly haired girl could get them.  I had to look my best for my crush and the high school football game.  We got paired up for the scavenger hunt and I was paired with my crush.  He was really competitive and we actually won the hunt.  We talked and talked throughout the entire football game as well.  He never became my "boyfriend", but I never stopped trying to impress him because he seemed encouraging.  A crush was all a 13 year old really needed anyway. 

Do the Bartman by the Simpsons

We are still hanging out in Junior High, a little later in the day than Mr. Thomas' class.  I was the second chair clarinet player in Advanced Band.  Between moving up to become one of the best musicians and the fact that I was generally very friendly and outgoing, somehow I had become a very popular person....at least in the band circle.   I had tons and tons of friends that year.  I always had a fun group to eat lunch with, I received lots of Valentine Candygrams, I was constantly passing notes to both boys and girls.  I still didn't have a boyfriend, but I was very well known and well liked.  Truth be told, all of these things served to give my ego a well-needed boost, but it also gave me a pretty big head. 

Mr. Short, our beloved band teacher, may have contributed to some of it.  For example, he offered me the Drum Major role for the Christmas Parade.  It was a coveted role and remains one of the things I regret today, for I turned him down.  I was enjoying goofing off in the last row of the parade and flirting with my crush.  All of my friends were shocked that I turned it down so I rushed back in to take it back...but it was too late.  So that was my first clue that I was well liked and talented.  Mr. Short also supported and encouraged healthy rivalry and competition amongst the band members.  We were allowed the opportunity to challenge the person ahead of us to a playing duel, if you will.  The loser had to wait 2 weeks to challenge again.  There were challenges here and there throughout the band, but none more rigorous than between me and Art (the more frequent #1 chair).  We literally were challenging every 2 weeks.  I will never forget the day.  Mr. Short ended class a few minutes early.  He normally listened to challenges either before or after class, but perhaps he was feeling the drama.  Everyone, literally EVERYONE, gathered around our 2 chairs.  Art chose the 4 bars of music and when he got to bar 3, I knew I had it in the bag.  He had the rhythm wrong.  He finished, quite proud of himself, and I began playing with a grin on my face.  When Mr. Short declared me the winner, it was like I was a rock star.  I had taken down Art.  It only lasted 2 weeks, but victory was sweet.

Then I got mean, I am sorry to say.  People picked on Art, not to an extreme degree, but there was teasing.  For starters, he played very athletically, moving his elbows up and down with the music.  That is no excuse for what i did.  I created verses to the tune of Do the Bartman... but I called it Do the Artman.   I likely honestly thought I was teasing, more than being mean, but when no one really laughed, I should have realized it wasn't really in good taste.  Luckily, that is about as far as I went...besides painting our shared band folder purple.  Totally girly.    When he asked me to dance at the 8th grade dance and later invited me and all of my girlfriends to his pool party later that summer, I knew there were no hard feelings.  He had the last laugh in the end:  when we got to high school, he was in the first row and I was way back in the third.  Do the Artman: everybody flap your arms and fly away!

Pray by MC Hammer

If you were to ask me who my favorite teacher of all time is was, off of the top of my head I might tell you Mr. West or Profesora Losada.  Most challenging would definitely be Mr. Ohman or Mr. Hinds and certainly Mr. Julien.  The most memorable teacher is Mr. Thomas, although I would have never said so at the time.  Today, without a doubt, he wins most memorable and I even would even say he is one of the most creative, out-of-the-box teachers I had. 

Mr. Thomas taught 8th grade Advanced Language Arts.  It was my first class of the morning and I was never late because I was in Jazz Band during the 7am slot.  We all gave Mr. Thomas a really hard time for some reason.  I am still not sure why.  Maybe it was because he challenged us.  Maybe because we got the sense that he tried too hard and trying too hard is something that 13 year olds can sense and immediately distrust.  The thing is, the trying too hard is what made him so awesome!   Once a quarter, if you ever decided you didn't care for an essay topic, you could write a "Sad Story" that was entirely fictional (although I suppose it could have been true) about why you couldn't write your essay.  I wrote this hilarious piece about my cat stealing my paper titled "And There was my Cat, Smashed Flat".  I know it was hilarious because Mr. Thomas spilled coffee on it, laughing so hard.  He had us journal every day, which I loved.  If we ever felt the need to write something private, we just had to tell him and he would not read that entry.  He was a published poet and he also acted and he would often incorporate these types of things into lessons.   He shared this film with us that was a one-man comedy act and it was hilarious.  I wish I could remember what it was called because I would love to watch it again.  Towards the end of the school year, we had to decide if we would take either Speech, Journalism, or "regular" Advanced English in High School.  He brought high school students in to share their experiences in each class.  What a nice thing to do for us, to help us make the right decision! 

Once in while, he would play music and sometimes we could bring our own music.  I remember very specifically the day I brought in a cassette with Pray by MC Hammer.  I remember watching everyone to see if they would be impressed by my taste in music (they were).  The cassette had been eaten and there was a part in the middle of the song that was all muddled.  To me, it had become part of the song and how it was supposed to sound.  I got a kick out of watching people's faces during the quick muddled bit of song.  At the end of the school year, a couple of the boys wrote in my yearbook and they all mentioned that we "survived" the year with Mr. Thomas.  I always went along with the crowd, even though I didn't always agree (peer pressure in action!).  But looking back, I can't stress enough that it wasn't a year to survive, it was a year to enjoy.  I think I should pay Mr. Thomas a visit someday soon to say thank you.  I hope he hasn't retired yet!

Step by Step by New Kids on the Block

Throughout my childhood and into adulthood, I rarely missed a summer camping trip to Silver Lake.  We would typically spend an entire week camping in tents with no showers and pit toilets.  I should also point out that it was typically all girls...and Matt M.  It should come as no surprise that most of the time, the girls were all hanging out together at the campsite or the lake or the potholes, whereas Matt had disappeared before the sun came up and there was nary a sight of him until dinner.  There were also days where we assumed he was off hiking and exploring, but he was actually asleep in his tent. 

It wasn't always all girls.  There was the (hard)core group of the two families, but each year usually included various guests such as friends, family members, boyfriends, or girlfriends.  No matter the company, it was always a lot of fun.  Today were are going back to the early 90's and I seem to remember it being a very quiet group.  Or perhaps it was just the beginning of a trip and we were waiting on other campers to arrive.  For whatever reason, I remember it being just me, my Mom, Phyllis M. and her son Matt.  I definitely remember playing New Kids on the Block cassettes all the way to the lake.  My mom was very understanding and patient, gotta love her.  I was obsessed with the New Kids, to put it mildly.  No really. Obsessed is the mildest way to say it.  I would play the tapes straight through and I never fast forwarded a song because I felt like it would be disloyal.  I was absolutely required to listen to and appreciate every last song.  I also never left a tape unplayed or stopped in the middle of it if I could help it - I always played them all the way through.  Ridiculous! 

I had this ginormous button of Joe and I wore it on my jean jacket.  Matt made fun of me because, of course.  He also made fun of the New Kids and that was clearly more offensive.  He redeemed himself though because the first night as we were all going to sleep, I called out:  Good night Matthew-a-poo-poo (a nickname invented by my sister).  And Matt responded:  Don't You Know I Hate You (a revision on a line from Step by Step).  So of course I responded:  Don't You Know You're Stupid!  This went on for some time, but the point is that Matt obviously knew the song, he knew the tune of the song.  He had obviously heard or even listened to it at some point.  The Kids were ubiquitous at the time, BUT STILL.  I remember thinking that this was the nicest thing Matt had ever said to me.  I was younger than Matt and I usually annoyed him and he teased me or generally avoided me, but this time, he was "talking to me" and it was about THE NEW KIDS!!!  By the next summer, I was onto something new and there were no more New Kids Nighttime Serenades. 

Losing My Religion by REM

Losing My Religion will forever be linked to Brenda and Dylan's breakup.  If you were a teenager in the early 90's, you will know exactly what I am talking about.  I was in 8th grade when I watched my first episode of Beverly Hills, 90210.  It was the episode "Isn't It Romantic" when Brenda and Dylan went on their first date.  The date ended in disaster, with Dylan smashing a planter on the ground and crying.  Smashing a planter was the ultimate in bad boy behavior!  I actually felt like I just might be getting away with something by watching it, like it was borderline too grown-up for me.   And of course, I did think it was totally romantic.  My friend Erica T. had watched it too and we both decided that it was going to be our very favorite show.  Season 2 started at the beginning of summer and we were both so excited about this.  The first episode of the season dealt with more Very. Important. Issues.  Pregnancy tests!  OB GYN visits!  And of course, the impossibly sad breakup of Brenda and Dylan.  The song playing during the breakup was Losing My Religion and the song even factored into a future episode when Brenda was so sad that she wanted to throw away any reminder of Dylan, including the CD with the song playing while they were breaking up.  Sniff! 

Beverly Hills, 90210 was the first TV show I was ever addicted to.  I wasn't much of a TV watcher as a kid, but this show really hooked me.  It wasn't just me - pretty much everyone my age was hooked on the show and it gave us all something to talk about and dissect, week-in and week-out.  It eventually became a bonding thing with my mom.  I don't think she loved the show or found it particularly riveting or addicting.  It was more about her knowing what we were watching so she could make sure it was appropriate.  It also was the launching point for a lot of conversations about the various topics covered on the show.  It covered everything....teen pregnancy, suicide, addiction, drinking, gun control, first love, the first time, friendship, divorce....you name it.  I will never forget watching the episode when Scott Scanlon accidentally shot himself.  I was BLOWN AWAY (!) by the entire episode, sitting on the edge of the couch, wondering who was going to die, how it would happen.  And David's speech in the DJ booth.  Powerful stuff for a very naive high school freshman!! 

I lost interest in the show once Brenda left which coincided with me going away to college.  I didn't have a TV and with the exception of a couple TV nights at Jenn K's house, I didn't have the opportunity to watch it much.  I also didn't think it was nearly as good as it used to be.  I watched the final episode, of course and in 2008 when the show relaunched with the new class of Beverly Hills, my sister and I were all over that!  It became the focus of our sister nights and we watched it together, just like before.  

Escapade by Janet Jackson

I have always been (and continue to be) envious of people who can dance.  I can mostly follow the steps, but I always struggled whenever I took a ballroom class because I had trouble following the guy.  Mostly, I never feel very graceful or inspired.  I don't have whatever it is you need to just go with the music and move your hips spontaneously, or create some amazing maneuver with your body.  Maybe it's because I am calling dancing "maneuvers" rather than some fluid piece of art.

In elementary school and junior high, a lot of the popular girls were in dance.  I think it was mostly jazz dance.  They would perform these really neat routines to a fun, trendy song at school talent shows.  I would go home and try to remember the moves and copy them, but never really succeeded.  In junior high, there was a segment of our P.E. class called dance.  In 8th grade, our teacher chose the song Escapade and we broke into groups to create a dance.  I remember being in a group with Christina P (her nickname that year was Tiscrina) and some other girls.  We were so excited about our dance.  It wasn't the best dance and definitely not the most creative as we were all at my level of dance ability.  I think it mostly included some grapevines and other really basic moves like that, but what was important is that we loved creating it.  We practiced it at lunch, we taught it to our other friends.  We performed it to the very best of our abilities in P.E. and we probably got an A.

We practiced with a cassette, because of course, it was 1991.  The teacher would have to quickly press stop and rewind every time the song ended so we heard the beginning of Black Cat (which came immediately after Escapade) quite a bit.  I remember the teacher commenting that Black Cat sounded like an even better song and she was right.  In fact, I got to play it years later with the Cal Band, complete with hip thrusts and circles, although it didn't sound the same since it is supposed to follow Escapade.  I miss that about music nowadays - you never know what to expect!