Ripple by the Grateful Dead

When I hear the Grateful Dead, it instantly brings me back to my time living in Piedmont.  In fact, I have written about this before.  I lived in that adorable apartment for 2 years and there are plenty of fun memories from that time.  Above all, the Grateful Dead puts me in a contented, relaxed mood.  I can't pinpoint any particular song associated with a specific memory, but the music and the vibe always remind me of Tisha and Jeff.  Jeff's family has a cabin in Pinecrest on the same street as Nick's great aunt and uncle. I met Tisha and Jeff during an epic 3-day weekend in Pinecrest.  Come to find out, they lived just down the street from us in Oakland.  Tisha and I even resemble each other, especially our curly blonde hair.  I seem to remember we have also a mole in the same place.  Or maybe I'm making that up, but it's too weird of a thing to make up.  She will have to confirm, even if she is confirming that I am losing my mind. In any case. it all just seemed serendipitous and Nick and I were beyond thrilled to have met a fun couple who lived very close by, who we both really enjoyed.  Thus began a friendship.

Tisha and I both like to entertain and we threw some very elaborate brunches for the 4 of us.  Tisha is a fantastic cook and I have used quite a few of her ideas and recipes in my own entertaining. They lived in an adorable little house with a great patio in the back. I love her style and her decorating.  Their house makes you feel immediately comfortable.  On brunch days Nick and I could walk down to their house and spend half the day lounging in the sun, eating amazing brunch food, drinking Mimosas, listening to music and laughing.  Often times we'd move on to the (late lamented) Kings X for a beer or two.  Jeff joined Nick's softball team and Tisha and I occasionally got mani-pedis together or played hooky and went to an A's game. They came to all of the events surrounding our wedding.  I once called Jeff late at night when I needed help in an emergency.  I held their first baby for hours when he was first born.  Then they moved up into the Oakland Hills and we moved to the wilds of West Oakland and later Livermore.  Pinecrest weekends also became less frequent in later years and now, for me, they are non-existent.  Between geography and kids and situations, I no longer see them, except for Facebook.  I still think about them though....when I hear the Grateful Dead.  In fact, I think it's time for another brunch!

Boomerang by JoJo Siwa

I love living in Martinez for many reasons and one of the big ones is the strong sense of community. I have heard from several people who rave about their neighborhood, where the kids all run around together, in and out of each other's houses.  I live in one them and it is exactly how I hoped it would be for raising my kids.  Mind you, it's not exactly like a scene in a movie from the 50s or how it was when I grew up in the 80s.  For example, nowadays showing up unannounced at someone's house is pretty frowned upon.  We also don't just send the kids outside and say, "come back at dinner!".  We literally stand on the sidewalk and tell the kids when it's safe to cross the street and then watch until they are safely inside the neighbor's house. The end result is the same:  It takes a village and I have developed a pretty nice village here. 

My daughter's BFF conveniently lives right across the street.  When her family bought their house, her grandpa came over to see it, pointed to MY house and said that he used to hang out there all the time.  Of course he is talking about my dad and uncle, since I live in the house where my dad grew up. Isn't that fun?!   Her BFF's parents are great - down to earth, easy going, fun people and all around great neighbors.  They just texted me the other night to tell me my car door had been left open.  Tami, her mom, and I relate I think because we both have strong willed children.  This makes our daughter's friendship so perfect - I can count on Tami to say:  "send her over!" just when I'm at my wits' end.  I hope she feels the same away about me. 

In spite of the shelter in place, Lila and her BFF have been conducting very elaborate video play dates.  They discuss all of the latest trends, music, clothing, shows.  They get into very sophisticated, imaginative games and it's pretty fun to listen to them. What I do not enjoy so very much is their obsession with JoJo Siwa.  I suppose I owe my mom an apology for the constant playing of the New Kids on the Block. I've consoled myself because now when I hear the music of JoJo, I associate it with my awesome neighbor Tami who gave us Lila's BFF.  I think the girls are actually playing more now with video and of course Lila's older brother isn't able to bother them quite so easily.  Tami and I have joked that while he is Diarrhea Dexter now, he is going to become Dreamy Dexter in a couple years and then we're all in trouble!

Sweet Home Alabama by Lynyrd Skynrd

When I hear the instantly recognizable chords of Sweet Home Alabama kick in, I instantly feel like I want to be at a frat party.  And when I think about frat parties, I think back to my very favorite frat party, Freshman year, in the spring of '96.  It was everything you could want from a party.  I had met up with my Cal Band friends at Kat's dorm in Clark Kerr and we all walked up together.  There were beverages aplenty, good music, lots of dancing, cute boys who weren't in the Band, and please don't ask me for any more specifics because I cannot recall a one.  I do remember what I was wearing, which was a striped, long sleeved top with jeans.  The theme was Mardi Gras and that was my attempt. I was woefully boring when it came to themes, but not to worry, I have completely gotten on board with them since.  I wasn't the only boring one.  Please take a moment to admire everything that is awesome about this picture I found, documenting the evening. 

• It contains not only Michael and Karen, who you have recently met, it also includes Belinda, the subject of today's story!
• I am not the only boring dresser.  You'll note Katy's turtleneck and what you cannot see is that Karen is wearing a turtleneck under a blazer.  I mentioned we were at a frat party, yes?  A themed frat party?  All I can say is thank god we grew up in the completely covered up 90's. 

I once shared with you the first person I met in the Cal Band.  Belinda is the first person I met before either one of us joined the Cal Band. I had attended a gathering at TH during Cal Day.  It was a welcome/recruiting event for prospective Cal Band members.  I remember meeting Belinda that day and she was a welcome and familiar face when I finally decided to join the Band!  I could see into her dorm room from my dorm room window and we were even in the same section in the Band. 

Throughout freshman year and especially this night, you can't think about Belinda without thinking about Greg.  Greg was incurably smitten with our Belinda.  (SPOILER ALERT!  Those two got together shortly after this party, got married right after college and are about to celebrate their 20th!) On this evening however, Greg was particularly discouraged and had become amusingly intoxicated.  I was completely on Greg's level myself, for no reason whatsoever.  Rumor has it I was speaking in German on the walk home.  Greg and I conversed and amused folks all the way back to Kat's dorm room.  The rest is history because as I previously stated, I have no further details to share from that evening!  

Centerfold by J Giles Band

It was the fall of 1995 and I was down on Edwards Field with the Cal Band.  If you ask a Cal Bandsman what they majored in, they will often joke that they majored in Band.  In the Fall, our lives were consumed by the Cal Band.  We had rehearsal 4 afternoons/week. On game weeks, we rehearsed 5 afternoons/week, plus Saturday morning prior to the game.  We also had section rehearsals (by instrument and rank) once a week.  There were group bonding events.  Evening events.  We generally socialized together and ate together.  If we had classes together, we studied together.  We were one big (mostly) happy family and I truly cherish my time in the Band as well as the memories and friends I made. 

The Cal Band is incredibly organized.  It is completely student led and run.  Thinking back, I think it's better run, by a bunch of college students no less, than some of the companies I have worked for in my career.   As a Newman (first year Bandsman), and a latecomer at that, there were so many people eager to welcome me and bring me up to speed on all of the traditions and rules of the Cal Band.   The most important of course was the complete and total elimination of anything red in my wardrobe.  I'm not kidding.  You would get pantsed if so much as the red Levi's tag on your jeans pocket was exposed. I learned quickly.  We all did.  To help ensure that we looked and sounded great on the field, we had both DAs (Director's Assistants) and TAs (Teaching Assistants, which were really Marching Assistants, but I guess TA sounds better than MA?). The DAs led the section music rehearsals and the TAs roamed the field and made sure we were in the proper formation, marching in perfect form. 

One of those TAs was Michael and he was also in my section, the 2nd Clarinets. He had an infectious, fun personality and I was always so happy to be around him.  I don't know if he was responsible for putting me in a dance number for the 80s show, but he certainly coached me on the choreography, of that I am certain. The dance numbers were always a hit and I know you non-Cal Bandsmen are all laughing right now, but they absolutely were!  There was so much cheering when we suddenly busted out with a dance routine.  The 80s show featured a dance number at the end of Centerfold.  I would never, ever claim to be the best dancer, but I will learn those moves and perform with enthusiasm. Michael is a person with an undying positive spirit, always full of enthusiasm, and I wanted to make him proud. I only got to enjoy his friendship and fun memories for 2 years.  I spent my junior year abroad which meant I missed his year at the Drum Major, which was also his last year at Cal. Thanks to Facebook, I still get to see what he's up to and thanks to this song, I think of him when I hear it, although my blood doesn't run cold.  He's not a Centerfold.

This is Me from the Greatest Showman Soundtrack

What are you doing, eating, drinking, wearing?  I'm not being nosy, but Gavin is.  The thing about Gavin is that he is genuinely interested in the answers to those questions and he will always share his own situation in response.  I first met Gavin over 3 years ago when I was in Carmel, Indiana training his company on our software.  I only spoke to him for a few minutes, but he left an immediate impression on me. He had completely embraced the product and enforced adoption with his vendors and users.  I was so excited about him and his enthusiasm that I told my Marketing team that he would be an excellent candidate to record a testimonial.  When he told me years later that he once ran for office in his town, I wasn't at all surprised.  I was however surprised that he didn't win the election.

Several years later, Gavin took a more active role with my product and before I knew it, he had found me on LinkedIn, Facebook, and someone even found my cell phone number.  Again, I know you are thinking this guy is super nosy and possibly a little creepy, but I assure you he isn't!  A couple years ago I texted him Merry Christmas.  He responded with a picture of his family in their matching Christmas jammies.  I responded with a picture of me and the kids wearing the EXACT SAME JAMMIES.  They are from Target, so this isn't totally farfetched, but to quote a movie that I haven't actually seen, but somehow still know this:  "Did we just become best friends?!"

If friendship were a superpower, Gavin would be known as SuperFriend.  He truly cares about his friends and he has quite literally become one of my very best friends, which is funny because I haven't seen Gavin in person in over three years.  He has been doing video messages and FaceTime calls before those things became mainstream.  He checks in on me regularly and sends me funny memes or tags me in funny posts. One day he happened to check in on me when I was especially down in the dumps about something.  Or someone.  It was probably a guy. I am always in the dumps about some guy.  Gavin sent me a link to a song and told me to cheer up.  The song was This Is Me and it did cheer me up.  Thanks Buddy!

Release Me by Wilson Phillips

It was early freshman year.  I was sitting on the quad eating lunch with Mikhaela, Emily, and Katie.  We didn't have open campus, but you were allowed to sit pretty much anywhere you liked at lunchtime.  It wasn't exactly like the movies where every group had a specific table or a spot. At least, I didn't think it was.  There were some big groups of kids, but it was mostly seemed to me to be little groups of 3-6 kids sitting together in various places on campus.  In this story, we were sitting in the northwest corner of the quad, eating our sack lunches.  There were 3 or 4 boys who sat right across from us.  The boys were in the band, like we were, but they were worldly juniors.  I almost certainly had a crush on one of them.  Trumpet players were typically my type.  Sometimes we would talk to them, but we mostly talked ABOUT them.  We were all under the impression that they were talking about us, of course.  

One day they definitely were talking about us or at least they were trying to get our attention.  There was typically music playing over the loudspeakers in the quad, whatever was popular at the time.  The song Release Me by Wilson Phillips was playing.  The boys across from us had created their own lyrics to the song. Instead of singing "I'm just trying to make you see, that baby you've just got to release me" the boys loudly sang:  "I'm just trying to make you see, that baby you've just got to have sex with me".  We giggled of course, but mostly rolled our eyes because it was textbook dumb teenage boy behavior.  It wasn't even clever, it was just dumb.  They certainly got our attention though and that was the point.  What they probably don't know is how memorable it was, since I still cannot listen to that song without hearing their alternate lyrics.  And now, so will you!  Please release me from these lyrics!

You Learn by Alanis Morissette

All the Jennifers

It was my second year in the Cal Band and we were in LA for the annual road trip.  Every year, the full band travels to LA to play either U$C or fUCLA.  Every other away game during football season was SHB (Straw Hat Band) only.  I had oddly decided to do a hot oil treatment for my hair the night before the trip and as a result, I was very uncomfortable with my oily hair for the next few days.  I have never done a hot oil treatment on my hair again.  The first stop in LA was the SoCal Benefit, which is a fundraising event where we would play for generous alumni and eat a fancy dinner.  That year there were six Jennifers in the Band.  To avoid any confusion, no one called any of us Jennifer or Jen(n) or Jenny.  We were JenStout, JenKlein, JennyHo, etc.  My last name was such a part of my identity that when I got divorced, several of my friends said that they never changed my last name in their phones....even after 9 years!  Is it any wonder I switched back to my maiden name.

Part of the LA trip is the excitement of staying in a hotel.  I was rooming with Jen K and possibly Melinda M and Kristin W, although I cannot remember.  I remember we had just settled into our room and turned on the radio to get the party started.  An Alanis song was playing on one station, so we paused because we all recognized the song.  We then started singing along to the most boring, depressing, un-party-like song of all time. At one point we all looked at each other and collectively realized how lame it was and promptly changed the station.

I cannot remember if we won, but I do remember the game being a bit of a disaster because someone threw an apple at the Trojan horse.  U$C fans and students aren't the nicest people, make no bones about it, but I draw the line at intentionally antagonizing an animal.  I must also confess that I do not remember going to a party in someone's hotel room, but I do know that we did because there is photographic evidence of a party in a hotel room with hideous mid-90's artwork.  There is just something fun about being jammed into a hotel room out of town with your friends and the Cal Band was very good at having fun.  So much fun in fact that the trip left us worn out and exhausted, as evidenced by the picture at the end of the trip....the picture that was completely staged because I wanted to wrap up my photo journey of the weekend.  I'm almost positive Jen and I were giggling behind those pillows.

Hangin' Tough by the New Kids on the Block

I have seen the New Kids on the Block in concert 4 times.  I saw them back in 1990 and 3 more times when they came back as grown men (on the block). My sister has of course seen them with me each and every time.  My curly girl Karen has seen them with me twice. Before you ask, yes, they are absolutely the kind of band you need to see more than once.  You may be wondering what makes a New Kids concert so much fun?   I'll tell you! 

Camera phones weren't as sophisticated in 2008

Back in 1990 I was quite literally obsessed.  My room was covered in New Kids posters.  I listened to their albums on repeat.  When I finally saw them in concert, I started crying when they came onstage and didn't stop crying throughout the show.  I was on emotional overload. In fact, when we got to our seats in 2008, my sister turned to me and asked if I was going to start crying again.  I said maybe.  I didn't cry, but I did stand up and jump around and wave my arms back and forth.  It turns out that watching the New Kids in your 30s is a lot like watching the New Kids when you are a tween.  It's all the same people from 1990 doing all the same dance moves and screaming at approximately the same level of ear piercing decibels.  We were even wearing the same clothes.  I had dug out the tshirts I had saved from the 1990 summer tour and the three of us proudly wore them.  After the concert, we spent the night in Karen's guest room in her apartment.  When we woke up, my sister was horrified to find out she had spent the night in a room with Karen's snake.  I could've warned her, but she had teased me about all of the crying.  All's fair in love and sisters, right?

Last year the New Kids went on the Mix Tape tour with a group of artists from the 90s.  The three of us naturally couldn't resist all of the nostalgia.  The show didn't disappoint.  It was like listening to a mix tape.  There were no sets - there were multiple stages and the artists would mix in, even overlapping and mashing things up.  It was as much fun as you would imagine, especially our nostalgic outfits and of course, closing out the show by enthusiastically waving our arm back and forth, blissfully Hangin' Tough with my sister and my curly girl Karen.